10 easy steps to remaining single



Being a gold digger is one way to lose a date.

Elisabet Gudjonsdottir, Staff Reporter

1. Be rude – Just care about yourself, home dog.
2. Be awkward at all times- No one likes awkward people. Just stare at people for no reason. They will think you’re super creepy.
3. Have an ugly laugh – Biggest turn off of all times. Make sure it’s loud too. The louder the better.
4. Have no self-confidence – Make sure to complain about ALL of your flaws. Everyone will get tired of you. I promise.
5. Seek reassurance – Continue to repeatedly point out ALL of your flaws until someone reassures you. You will definitely be single.
6. Be a gold digger – Only order expensive things on the menu. Steak for days.
7. Always smell bad – Scare away any potential mates. Skip your shower plus deodorant for days at a time.
8. Dress poorly – Don’t care about how you look whatsoever. Pretend every day is mis-match day.
9. Have bad breath- The less you brush your teeth the better.
10. DIP – Very few dates like a dipper.