The War

April 11, 2019
I once had a war within my mind
I soon found myself losing
I was hoping I could find
With all of the bruising
Some faith of a victory
I struggled with surrendering
My mind was contradictory
Every thought was a bullet
Every movement was a punch
Why could I not just pull it?
All that I could do was use a hunch
I either won or died trying
I was afraid to say that I could not take it any longer
I kept finding myself crying
I never felt myself getting stronger
I have had enough
I thought I would do a rain check
But I knew I was talking bluff
I already found myself in a wreck
It is a thief
It stole everything I once had
But I will keep it brief
I was always doing bad
It is a nightmare
I woke up in a living hell
Everything seemed impossible to bear
All the things in my life just fell
It is a never ending ocean
I was drowning every day
In this sea of emotion
However, I was being washed away
It is a bottomless pit
The struggling never ended
I hated to admit
There was no escape from the trend
It is a murderer
It killed the girl I used to be
How I used to become a blur
I could not change I now see
It was a war
A losing battle within me
It left many scars
I just wanted to be free
I wanted to surrender
I have had enough
All it brought was anger
I thought I was tough
I either won
Or lost my happiness and lose
I was afraid to say I was done
But to lose, I refused