The War

The War

Ruth Brown, reporter

I once had a war within my mind

I soon found myself losing

I was hoping I could find

With all of the bruising

Some faith of a victory

I struggled with surrendering

My mind was contradictory

Every thought was a bullet

Every movement was a punch

Why could I not just pull it?

All that I could do was use a hunch

I either won or died trying

I was afraid to say that I could not take it  any longer

I kept finding myself crying

I never felt myself getting stronger

I have had enough

I thought I would do a rain check

But I knew I was talking bluff

I already found myself in a wreck

It is a thief

It stole everything I once had

But I will keep it brief

I was always doing bad

It is a nightmare

I woke up in a living hell

Everything seemed impossible to bear

All the things in my life just fell

It is a never ending ocean

I was drowning every day

In this sea of emotion

However, I was being washed away

It is a bottomless pit

The struggling never ended

I hated to admit

There was no escape from the trend

It is a murderer

It killed the girl I used to be

How I used to become a blur

I could not change I now see

It was a war

A losing battle within me

It left many scars

I just wanted to be free

I wanted to surrender

I have had enough

All it brought was anger

I thought I was tough

I either won

Or lost my happiness and lose

I was afraid to say I was done

But to lose, I refused