Summer Style Tips From the Style Guru

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AliExpress

A fantastic outfit idea brought to life.

Nick Hunter, Staff Reporter

Steel-toed boots and basketball shorts

If you don’t, you will get made fun of, because you won’t be cool. Be sure to wear Hanes tank tops with your basketball shorts, and don’t forget to wear a camouflage hat either. Remember, the hat will be pointless to wear if you do not put a fish hook on it. Without a fish hook, you might as well not leave the house. Try to make sure that the hat came from Cabela’s, because we live in the world of brand names. No matter where you are, carry around a beat up Spalding basketball, and challenge anyone that questions your ability to dunk on them to a game of one-on-one. Also, in your game of one-on-one, keep on your steel toed boots. You can only wear the same outfit 17 days in a row, so keep another outfit on deck because summer is longer than 17 days.

Overalls with no shirt under them (for guys only)

Now, I would never promote the use of tobacco, so I suggest that you purchase a can of beef jerky. Leave this can in your back pocket, until there is an imprint of the can in your back pocket. Be sure to carry around a bottle that you can spit sunflower seeds into. Also, buy sunflower seeds so you can spit them into the bottle. You will also wear a hat with this outfit as well. However, this hat requirement is a cowboy hat made of straw. This hat will really put the exclamation point on your fashion statement. Be sure to remove a piece of straw from your hat to chew on it, but leave the majority of it out of your mouth so people will know you’re chewing on it. This, my friends, is the key to fashion success this summer.

Grunge Rock

For this outfit, you must get big gauges with about 3 to 4 piercings on your face, somewhere around the eyeball area. Wear a leather jacket with a skulls design and spikes on the shoulder, and maybe the occasional Blood Anarchy symbol carved into your stomach. You might even get a face tattoo in the shape of a pentagram.

Camo

For this outfit, you must purchase a pair of camouflage boots with a camouflage Carhartt coat. Wear camouflage cargo pants. Purchase a camouflage backpack if one is not owned. In doing so, no one will be able to see you. Only your face and hands will be visible. This will allow you to slither into a grocery store and smuggle damaged milk in and out of the store.